As I speak with people daily I am shocked by their lack of understanding and communion with God. Those who go to Church do not always have a close walk with God, either. The person who wants to be anchored to Truth, Reality, and Love on a daily basis must spend a lot of time with God, and sooner or later, God will break through and speak to that person; to their mind, heart and senses. God speaks to me and this is what She says.
DAILY & PRIVATE THOUGHTS
OF RASA VON WERDER
IS A CHURCH?
A Church is a living, breathing organism. It is the Spirit of God within a certain Embodiment, a particular place. It is a domain of spirituality. When a Church becomes reality on earth, in time and space, it has certain dimensions.
A Church LIVES. As a creature of life, it cannot stagnate. It must GROW, in the way that we grow, that plants grow. It may go into winter for a short time (or longer) but it is never dead. It is never outward ritual and letter of the law, it is always living, breathing, growing, and changing. Change is one of the most important elements of a Church. Why change? Is not the Truth eternal and unchanging? In a way, yes, in a way, no. Where God is in eternity God alone knows ABSOLUTE TRUTH. God as a matter of fact IS Absolute Truth. Everything else is on its way toward God, revolving around God! And so, as all of life moves, breathes, grows, IT MUST GO THROUGH CHANGE.
I had a dream regarding the Catholic Church, in which God told me THE CATHOLIC CHURCH IS DEAD! I had NEVER seen this before! I always felt, at its core, in spite of its faults, that the Catholic Church was great. But God said no, leave the Catholic Church, BECAUSE THEY HAVE TAKEN GOD OUT OF IT! The dream showed me a beautiful living oak in the middle aisle of a gothic church. It could live because on top was a huge dome of a skylight, with just enough to keep it growing. The oak had acorns which were various sized green fruits, from pear to acorn size. But they removed the Oak from the Church, because they said, it was IN THE WAY! God explained to me "they" - which is the leaders of the church - took out Jesus/God because Jesus was IN THE WAY! In the way? In the way of what? I had to draw my own conclusions.
I surmised the Catholic Church has been contaminated (for a long time) by bad priests. These priests, of course, became Cardinals and Bishops. What was wrong with them? For one thing, they had no intention of keeping their vows or obeying God and Church. They were blinded by lust and greed. And so, underneath the flesh and the human mind, they no longer served nor worshipped God; they served their own human needs. Over a period of time, they contaminated the church with their ideas, not of God. Most of the saints are dead. They live off legends and rituals, substituting empty form for love. They go through the motions. They say the truth doesn't change, it is forever the same. They have not grown. They use this "truth" theory to justify sexism, discrimination against women, to harbor lies. In other words, truth has grown all around them, but they hold onto an old lie they perpetrated, saying, "truth doesn't change.....we have to keep women out of the Church! etc." Pitiful, pathetic, dead souls, look in the mirror and see that you are in darkness! All around you the world acknowledged women had been done wrong, but you keep saying women were meant for breeding and slavery. They have been slaves in the Catholic Church, haven't they? At best, when you weren't killing them, they were slaves. Enough!
Now, my children, we are speaking of a new church. We are not the one and only, by any means. There are many good churches out there - go to them if you wish. But I want to have my own group and promulgate it throughout the world......you can be a part of this. But let us define who I am and who you - the members, are.
Jesus said - and He spoke for God,
"I am the vine, you are the branches."
This is the role of the leader. When the leader starts a church, the leader is the focus or pivot of the Church. The leader calls people to herself, and then, they become her spiritual children. The RESPONSIBILITY of the leader is to "feed the sheep" or nourish the children, as Jesus required of Peter. We are "fishers of men and women" and after we find them, we feed them. How do we feed them? What is spiritual nourishment? What is that fish and bread that Jesus had waiting delightfully for the devotees, at the side of the water? He'd once said, "I have bread to eat you know not of." What is that spiritual nourishment? Three names: Shakti Kundalini, Holy Spirit, and LOVE. A leader is a MOTHER. A leader has SPIRITUAL MILK. That spiritual milk, the "milk of human kindness" runs through the leader to you. It comes from God.
What is your role? What does the leader require of you? I love the way the great Baba Muktananda explained it, when he spoke of his guru, Baghwan Nityananda. The guru takes your ignorance, your darkness! And in turn, he gives you shakti! He cleanses you like a washerwoman, removing all the filth from you, and giving you all that is good.
As your leader, I want to see you grow. The above explains what I give you, when you give me your darkness. What else do you need to do? Cooperate with the Holy Spirit! Do all that you know of God, such as reading spiritual books, prayer and meditation, good works. Specifically, you might do what is called Guruseva. This is the help for guru and church. Whatever it takes to help that you can do, you do it. This is praying for the guru and church, telling others about it, doing physical work, giving prasad or donations, and whatever. (In my own journey toward God I served a physical guru, Rev. Verna Talbot, for six years. I promoted her and her church and gave her a large portion of my income during this time....about $10,000. over a period of six years. When I left her, I joined back with the Catholic Church and donated approximately $15,000. for Masses for the Souls in Purgatory during a period of ten years. I also studied the books of Catherine Ponder, a great prosperity teacher, and sent her almost $4,000. the first year. I have receipts for most of the above. God rewarded me for my generosity, and although I gave much, God returned to me MUCH MORE BOTH SPIRITUALLY AND FINANCIALLY.) I am prosperous today because I was generous in giving myself to God and God's own.
What are your rewards, what are my rewards? We both move toward a Perfect God, Who gives all good things. In this journey, you need a guide and fellowship helps. I know that many of you come from places that gave PARTIAL SATISFACTION. Your family might have loved you or abused you. Whatever they did, it was not perfect fulfillment. You went into the world. There you found coldness and calculation, dog eat dog, everyone for themselves. You had to watch your back and the land mines. Somehow, you came out alive, though barely, it seemed, at times. Anxiety and depression overwhelmed you, because you could not find perfect fulfillment. How do I know this? IT IS THE LOT OF ALL HUMANS!
Do not be afraid to give! The more you open your mind and heart to Guru/God, the more grace you receive. The more you give physically/financially, the more you get back from God! Charity/generosity brings untold blessings and gifts your way - THINGS YOU NEVER DREAMED OF! TRUST GOD!
In our movement toward God, this is GROWTH. A CHURCH GROWS. Do you think I or anyone knows all the answers? As I live, I learn daily. I learn by listening to the people out there, who are my children needing Light. I learn what their problems are in their lives that are keeping them from fulfillment. There are no easy answers at times, it just takes growth. My mind grows as I listen to you, and your soul grows as you receive from God through me. We grow together, the church evolves.
TO BE CONTINUED.......
HAS REBUKED ME
The other day I spoke of visualization and doing charts, when God stopped me by the following dream:
DREAM OF MARCH 25, 2005
A police officer arrested some prostitutes and was teaching them to dance.
Then, I was with a man trying to follow him in dancing. He was shorter than me and wore a hound's tooth jacket. He went five steps, but I told him it should be four. I asked him if he knew how to tango, as I did, and then, I could follow him.
MEANING OF THE DREAM
As I interpreted this dream I was sitting in the parking lot of Staples, ready to go in and get my chart materials. But I could not, because I soon realized God was saying,
"YOU ARE TELLING GOD WHAT TO DO."
was sickened by my own self, because I had already adivised my children
to do visualization.
Then, the man in the houndstooth is Nityananda/God. Houndstooth is black and white and so means "clear as black and white" or "clear as the printed page." Houndstooth is also said to be "clean as a hound's tooth." There is a message OF CLARITY for me. One, I am taller. Two, I am suggesting to Him how to dance so I can follow, and even what dance to do. The moral:
"Don't be bigger than God. Don't tell God what to do."
God reminded me that when I did these visualizations, (in the 80's and 90's) I was in the "dark night of the soul" after the Divine Stigmata. It was a place of little mental illumination or vision. Prosperity was a part of my study then not because I was brilliant, but because I had fallen down to a lower level. (Not due to any sin of mine but because of the grace mentioned.) Here I was functioning as a spiritual babe, a "baby Christian." Baby Christians tell God what they want, and visualization is part of that.
As God spoke to me, I felt confused. Why can't a person lay out, so it's clear in their minds what they want? Because, it slowly sank into me, you aren't supposed to want anything but God, to do Her will, to obey, and simply follow God. You don't lay out to God what you want to do; you ask God what God wants you to do and for the obedience to follow.
God warned me, that if I did visualizations, be very careful, and make sure everything was simply to surrender to God, trust in God, and not try to figure out all the things you want. As I said in an earlier Pastor letter, don't be a heron meditator. They meditate on fish and they get fish, not God. If you make a chart and it has everything you want, and God doesn't give it to you, does that mean God doesn't love you? It would seem that way. I have been humbled. I have stumbled.
What I must do is simply trust that God knows what must be done, how it is to be done, and just simply relax and let go. Pray daily that God will give me the vision to obey, and do righteous things daily, to find what God wants me to do and where God wants to put me. I must learn to be happy in whatever circumstances I am, rich or poor, alone or with others, or whatever. Uniformity with God's will is the secret to success.
I thought about the charts. Putting pictures of all the things I want and fantasize about, indeed, would be so childish. It would be like showing your spouse the diamonds you want, the car, the house and all that. If he is a rich and generous man, let him decide what to give you and don't demand or suggest anything. When he gives you what he does, it's a proof of his love, not the pressure of your demands.
I have been humbled.
I also want to say to you seekers that the rebukes are as important as the praise. If God did not rebuke you, you would fall off the razor's edge of perfection. If you would read my "how to pray" articles in Mystical Theology and Beatific Vision, I have everything correctly explained.
is a child's type of prayer. If you are on the low to intermediate levels,
it is alright. But when you are reaching the heights of sainthood, the
magic word is TRUST.
VISUALIZATION OF THE CHURCH/ASHRAM CONTINUED
I like the idea of a yearly parade, as I said. In a cosmopolitan area, like Los Angeles (this is projected, we're not there yet!) there will be complications, and they might not give permits for the main thoroughfares. Traffic is bad as it is. We may have to go by some back areas or areas not so well trafficked, but so be it. It would be better, actually, because we'd have more freedom to go slow, and demonstrate our floats and what they mean. And somehow, we have to convey who we are. The press would all be invited, and if we have sensational floats we'd get all kinds of coverage including tv, newspapers and magazines, ALL OVER THE WORLD. How would we be different? For one thing, I never heard of a "yoga" parade, and I think the costumes and decorations would be sensational, as well as the devotees wearing the costumes. Even those who are just working that day, not performing, would be dressed up, some painted in blue, many wearing garlands. We'd explain to onlookers that being a "blue person" means being totally in the consciousness of God. Think of the people that we'd make an impression on who would never forget what they saw. IMAGES LEAVE IMPRINTS ON THE MINDS OF PEOPLE. Think of the children who'd see ideas like this performed in front of them, and when they got older, looking for the meaning of these memories, would find Truth.
In the event that our floats would not be allowed on the streets anywhere within a reasonable distance of thoroughfares, we could find parking lots or empty spaces where we could set up A WEEKEND OF FLOATS AND PREACHING! In fact, even if we are permitted to ride down the avenues, we could end up in such a place for days of celebration and worship. It would bring great business to the area we'd be at, like a fair. Nobody said any of this would be easy. It would take lots of work and time, but it would be worth it.
One of the unusual floats we'd have would be the woman on the cross. See gallery "Woman Thou Art Grace," with the self crucifixion of Kiki Love. Something like that, and I'd volunteer to be the woman part of the time. We'd need a few, as nobody could be on the cross all day! There would be armholes to slip your arms into and a stand to stand on, not hang, but we'd put blood streaming all over her white loincloth and bra, and a terrible looking crown of thorns. People would be aghast at a woman crucified and we'd have to answer lots of questions, which is good.
Another vision I have is the work of preaching on the street. I have seen street preaching and done it, and know how hard it is, but it's also effective. I'd send people two by two - preferably male and female (because male touches women better and woman touches men better...albeit with heterosexuals.) OK, whoever is available. I would never send anyone alone unless she has inch-thick skin and an extra set of balls. It is an adversarial arena of work, it brings out conflicts, dangers and demons.
The way I did it certainly was aggressive. I carried, would you believe, a bullhorn, filled with tons of batteries, where as I preached they could hear me half a block away. You can imagine the angry people, shopkeepers who hated me, demonic retarded crazy kids chasing me, people who didn't want to forgive threatening me, psychotics saying they'd push me into cars, and a various assortment of devil worshippers. About one out of twenty said they worshipped "darkness" Satan, and about one out of twenty was a born-again type who encouraged me to go ahead and keep going, but didn't want to help. A couple guys walked with me for a while, but gave up when they saw the pain was great, with no tangible reward. One I call "the cookie guy." He'd always stop me and tell me what was what, and about a Church I should join as they'd love me...I asked him to help, and he said the first time I saw him God told him he'd save a MILLION people, and the second time I saw him he said it was a BILLION people. But he was in a hurry. The busy man (fifty pounds or so overweight) hurried to get his COOKIES across the street, and sped away with his boyfriend as I sweated it out on the pavement. A few made appointments to help, but weren't there when I arrived. Police were called and stopped me twice. Once I started a riot in front of the High School, and police asked me not to preach there again! Then there were the ramblers. These were guys who wanted to ramble on about their philosophy, needs, ideas, religion, for like twenty minutes of my precious time, because it made them feel good. Obviously, they were not ready to listen or receive grace from me, they just wanted to vent. There were a few successes here and there, like girls who were afraid they were lost because they were gay. So many girls on the street were in despair, so many boys and men, as usual, filled with arrogance and an assumption of superiority over women!
In my imagination, I gloss over the bad and see the good of people two by two, handing out literature if permitted, and stopping and talking to all who will listen. You learn by doing. Maybe some of them could be dressed up as Hindu saints - that would cause a stir! Painted blue and other colors, wearing saris and garlands. What attention for God!
Right now there's a plethora of Catholic Churches for sale. The Roman Catholic Church is dead. Christ isn't in it! They've pushed Him out! Maybe we'll buy one of these Churches, and have daily Mass and our homilies which include yoga! I want to teach and ordain women and men to be Priests of the Holy Eucharist and also Confession. We could administer all the sacraments, and teach people to start churches in their own homes. (See my section on how to start a church in your home under Jesus, Mary, Christianity.) We could do baptism of babies and adults, and weddings. The whole nine yards. With a Catholic Church there is usually space in the Church for various activities. They have basements for meetings and feasts in all the old ones. Many have rectories, where some of our devotees can live.
I need a few close people to travel with me when I go on the road. I'll be in demand quite a bit for lectures (very important, especially to colleges), tv shows and the like. Say a big tv show in a city wants me. We get there a bit early or else do some homework as to all the news media there - magazines and papers. While I am doing the show, might as well get some extra press. What larks!
Hey, like is short. Let's do all the good we can while we're here!
My other fantasies are we have a wonderful pool and sauna facilities at the ashram, plus weight lifting and exercise equipment. I'm a fanatical body builder myself and everyone should be at least in cardio-shape. I'd like to have facilities for two of my favorite sports on the premises - basketball and ping pong. Maybe we'll add badminton, something I did a lot of as a child. In between all our hard work - say hours of labor - we go out and play. It isn't good for the mind and body to sit at a desk for hours on end, until you feel dreary. A short game of ping pong and laughter can make you feel better. A half hour in whirlpool and regular pool, even praying while you're in it as I do, would help. I always take a plastic rosary to my gym, and after lifting weights, say two or three rosaries. If people want to talk, I do talk with them, but manage to get my prayers in just fine.
These visualizations from my mind I give to you to affirm. I want you to meditate and dwell upon the good you want for our Church/Center/Ashram. What are your ideas? Have you been to any centers you like? What did you like about them? What would you improve or change? I know fellowship/Light/Love/ Togetherness/ Belonging/Support are the main things people want from an organization. But are we all on the same page? We have to be one in mind and heart in order to be one in harmony. If people are dissenting-disagreeing and causing havoc, they cannot be one of us. The leader and staff have to decide who belongs and who does not.
Those are a few points of prosperity thinking that go along with Catherine Ponder. (Her books are published by DeVorss Press.) This attitude I agree with - but prosperity that has deteriorated into materialism, elitism, and greed (and looking down on the poor) is not for me.
I'd like to make one more point. For things I want to CROSS OUT are the sex fantasies of men. I am about fed up, disgusted and sickened by the constant barrage of sex fantasies men have presented me all my life. Will you quit? Leave it alone! Your dick is your problem, not mine. When you guys enter my space I will not tolerate this sort of expression and I don't want it foisted on any other woman in the Ashram/Church. If you have a problem with sex and must have it, take care of it somewhere else. We do not want to hear your needs and fantasies, because they interfere with our spiritual thoughts and they are disgusting to those who are not interested. Save them for your wives, your girlfriends and your hand.
Those devotees who are closest to me, I expect them to eventually become celibate. I have already asked one man to quit having sex with other men - but he's still allowed to masturbate. He seems to be ready for this step, as he is passed middle age, but young in heart and healthy. We should all be productive into our 90's!
making lists and charts! Get positive about what you want! Be serious
about God and God will be serious about you! Good Luck!
SOME GOOD THOUGHTS ON PROSPERITY
Lest some of you might think I am saying all teaching on Prosperity is bad, I feel I have to explain a bit more. There is a line. That line separates the following: one one side, righteous prosperity, and on the other side, evil prosperity thinking that is turning to materialism, greed, elitism, keeping up appearences, pride, looking down on the poor and suffering, and hating oneself when one is poor, suffering, rejected and scorned.
Righteous prosperity might be called positive thinking, realistic, Godly, hopeful, trusting, filled with faith and love thinking. (As opposed to pessimistic, negative, dark thoughts, without trust, faith, hope and going toward despair...thoughts that are against God because they do not believe in and affirm all good.)
I have a long history with Catherine Ponder. I began studying her around 1987 and I have a letter from her thanking me for sending her a nice check. Yes, I studied her and practiced her, and I did thank God every day for all that I had. But I always thanked God. I thanked God when I was in the pit, when I was in Purgatory, when I was rejected, when I was poor and downcast. Always, everywhere, thank God for whatever situation you are in BECAUSE SOMETHING GOOD WILL COME OUT OF IT! (Words of Catherine Ponder.)
I recall clearly making "Catherine Ponder" lists. On the left, were all the things I wanted "crossed out" of my life. On the right, were all the things I wanted to happen. I affirmed all the things I wanted to happen, and everything I prayed for did happen - just about. Some of it will yet take place.
All the things that seem bad in your life, do not give in to negativity because of them. Affirm the good. For instance, if you are in a bad relationship and can't seem to see your way out of it, affirm that either the relationship will change, and you will be getting along, or it will dissolve, and you will both go on to your greatest good. Catherine Ponder taught me that whoever I want loosed from me - even my own relative - I affirm that that person goes on "to his or her greatest good."
Whenever something bad seems to have happened - a car accident, a fire, a death, sickness, pain, rejection, whatever, you step outside the situation and affirm loudly,
"SOMETHING GOOD WILL COME OUT OF THIS!"
Catherine Ponder also taught me to have PRAYER PARTNERS. For a long time my partner was Richard, my best friend and later husband. We prayed every time we were together - which was about thirty five days a year. I noticed that when we stopped praying, we had a breakup of a few months. When we got back together I made sure we kept praying. The praying together brought the grace of God into our lives and into our union. You can even pray with those who are not close to God - but as long as they are saved - much more grace will be gathered. After all,
"One can chase a thousand. Two can chase ten thousand."
Is it alright to pray with those who are not saved? That might be difficult. If you cannot get them saved, they will put a kind of "cloak of darkness" on you as you pray, and it will be hard to break through. However, your prayers might save this person. (I have much experience with this sort of thing and the cloak of darkness can be extreme. It can be as if the sunshine is obliterated from your soul. With the average person not saved it is more like a grey cloud hanging over both of you.)
Right now I have not found a partner for praying - which tells me I have to buckle down and search harder. It will have to be one or more of my phone mates. And by the way, the most "religious" people are not always the best prayer partners. I know extremely religious people, two of them. One will not pray with me, as he is fundamental in another religion. The other is Catholic. When I pray with the extreme Catholic I feel many graces are prevented because he is so rigid in his beliefs, and he judges me a sinner. (He never says anything about the evil priest's sins, only my sins!) Because he does not see me as an Instrument of God, the openness is not there, and therefore, the graces don't come flowing in as much. I can feel a shadow of doubt over us as we pray together.
Mz Ponder also taught me a great principle which coiincides with what I just said: You cannot pray at cross purposes. That is why large groups of people praying together might not work so well. When you get crowds of people together, they are not all in harmony; not all on the same page. So some affirm, and some cross out what the others affirmed, and therefore, the prayers rising up to God are in conflict. You must be in harmony when you pray! Whatever you affirm, be in harmony with your partners!
She also taught me visualization. I read books by yogi swamis about it which did me no good. But the way Catherine Ponder explained it made it real for me. I believe her to be one of the greatest teachers of all time, and certainly the number on this planet Prosperity.
I have made a lot of charts taught by Catherine Ponder. I made one for the firm my husband worked for, and against all odds, they received the WORLD'S LARGEST AWARD BY THE U.S. GOVERNMENT, 52 BILLION DOLLARS WORTH CONTRACT FOR AIRPLANES! A friend who was working at the Pentagon said to me,
"They will not get the contract. Their helicopters suck."
But I knew I had made the charts. I wanted to prove to my future husband the power of this type of action. We went to an arts and crafts store and bought posters, glitter, glue, magic markers and a bunch of other stuff. We went through a whole series of magazines to get appropriate pictures. He told me which companies were vying for the contract, and I crossed them out on one poster, affirming they would not win. Then I made another one affirming our aircraft company would win, but I did it in stages, with many pictures. The last one was celebratory. I showed a picture of my husband and myself, and the company, drinking champagne, rejoicing, bubbles and stars all around, smiles, glitter and congratulations. When the President of the company came to make the announcement concerning the contract, that was how he looked. He was beaming. So Rich told me.
Now here is an interesting note:
I never imagined I'd marry this man. He was just starting to be my best friend. But those charts were a portent of my own future wealth. After many years, Rich and I were married. When he died, the money that secured me for life WAS FROM THE VERY COMPANY I MADE THE CHARTS FOR! In a sense, the Universe of God brought back to me, with blessings, what I wished upon someone else...the good I wished on the company came back to me to in great blessings! This money enabled me to start the Church, the same Church site that you are reading right now!
Whenever I worked with charts, amazing things happened. I made charts for a new house in a new place that I believe will happen soon - although I did this work years ago. Blessings do not always happen instantly, but they always happen WHEN YOU BELIEVE.
Now that I am thinking of it, I THINK I WILL MAKE CHARTS FOR THE NEW CHURCH! I want devotees, so I will find pictures of people who look like they want to learn about God. I want people to look upon me as a servant of God, their guru waiting to help them - so I will find guru pictures and put my face in them! Starting soon, I will take photos of me as a guru and put them on the site, and on the charts! I will find pictures of ashrams, churches, and centers of spirituality. I will find the ones I like best, and paste them on posters, affirming with magic markers that soon we will have our place! I will put pictures of Dieties everywhere: Jesus, Mary, Saints, Siddha Yogis, Muktananda, Nityananda, Shiva, Shakti, Kali, and all of that. Everywhere stars, glitter, gold and blue and money. Yes, we need money to do all this! I have to affirm money not out of greed or pride, but the resources which will enable us to help souls. After all, sitting here all alone I can reach out spiritually, but not physically, to souls. I will always help souls in Purgatory and souls from Hell (who do not know I helped them) but I also wish to save those on earth.....not only to save, but to enlighten; to help others find self realization, and absolute Oneness with God. I don't feel the site is enough. I feel we have to have physical contact and start centers that will perpetuate after I am gone.
And so, I will affirm this on charts and look at the charts daily and that will sure buoy up my hopes!
Lately, I have been doing a lot of exorcisms against the following: frustration, isolation, loneliness. I have banished demons of, depression, hopelessness, and the like. This is important. But I had completely forgotten affirmation and charts! Dear Dave from Florida, who sent me the tape on Prosperity, set me on this course of thought again! What a blessing! I can't wait to start the charts and if it is possible, I will put them on the site. (Will have to make them in smaller pieces to be able to scan them in!...I invite you also to send me pictures of ashrams, churches, spiritual centers, gurus surrounded by devotees looking happy, etc......also, make charts for your own life for things you want!) Making these charts SETS THEM FIRMLY IN YOUR MIND for things to happen. Catherine Ponder taught me to make colorful, brilliant, beautiful charts. Two men were planning vacations. She said one made a chart using black and white pictures, small, drab, and that is how his vacation was. Another guy who projected his vacation made it brilliant, and his vacation was brilliant! You get what you wish and believe for, what you affirm and affirm strongly!
Another important factor is your will. Please use your will! Use it strongly and persistently to remove evil and summon good into your life. Do not wish evil on yourself or anyone else (only upon the devil!) If you banish anyone, let it be for their own good, to their own place of improvement or benefit. Do not wish someone harm. Daily wish good upon yourself through your lists, affirmations, and charts. Make charts whenever your spirits are down and project your future. I am going to make charts starting soon. Maybe today. (Let me know how your charts work out!)
Let me affirm and visualize what I want for our church and our centers, so you and I can both have it clearly in our minds. I want to help everyone possible. There should be a group of devotees who are truly committed to God, who will be near me. They will be evolved souls. I see myself in a place where I can have darshan with these devotees, and others, on a regular basis. We will sit in comfortable couches and sofas, all covered by the beautiful flower sheets and blankets I have collected. (I have hundreds of them. I buy them for half price one day a week at the Salvation Army. Many are exquisite, truly works of art.) I am into cleanliness, so I like the thought of clean blankets and sheets on all our sofas and couches, laundered regularly! My devotees can sit comfortably, they do not have to force their legs into lotus postures. Everyone can relax, and put their feet up on the couches and sit on their feet, or lean back or even lie down if they want to. I will sit comfortably, in beautiful but comfortable clothing, listening to the questions. I will answer them and we will have these recorded so we will make books called "Satsang with Rasa." They are like the books I read called "Satsang with Baba." (This refers to questions and answers with Baba Muktananda.)
I would like to be available for the devotees and guests a few days a week. There will be some times when I will be out of town lecturing, speaking and doing tv shows. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, and my devotees will miss me when I'm gone, and welcome me with arati when I return. (What a fantasy! Incense burning, flowers tossed in front of me, Jai Guru, Jai Guru....Why not?)
These discussions will be the foundation of the devotees learning what I can give them of God. It will be wonderful. When they go to bed at night, they will have dreams of God, and God will be ever coming closer to them, bringing them all good. And I will know I am helping others and that is the greatest joy on earth!
I have been collecting dishes and silverware from a variety of places, including second hand stores, for years, in the hopes of having large feasts. I have enough to seat maybe twenty or thirty people. (And more can be bought instantly if needed!) You see, when I was a child we had a wonderful social life. Every feast day we had at least a dozen guests, and everyone was so happy! I long to recreate that long-lost joy of childhood. Today, what is left of my family never invites me, not even for Christmas. I have spent the last few Christmases, since my husband died, completely alone. (Also Thanksgiving, Easter.) Everyone knows I'm alone - but no one cares...It seems sad, but SOMETHING GOOD WILL COME OUT OF THIS!
I long to have SPIRITUAL FRIENDS sharing meals together. I do not want to be greedy and have food demons on us, but I want to have modest, vegetarian meals together regularly, and they must be healthy. One day a week, we will make our own home-cooked meals, all working together and learning how to cook. (Those who might not be working could watch and learn.) On regular days, we can do like Lithuanians do. They get great bread and cold cuts (we will use all sorts of cheezes, hard and soft ones and tofu things) jams and jellies and other nice spreads, and set the table for tea. I mean the best breads the kind you could eat with nothing on them! I would like to make our own bread once in a while, also. We can have easy stuff like canned sardines, tuna and other fishes, so we do not have to cook constantly, and have more time for meditation and Satsang.) But I do like the idea of a made-from-scratch, work together meal once in a while. I am an expert with soups from scratch, but I need practice with home-made raviolis or pierogis...I can teach you to make the world's greatest potatoe pancakes and Lithuaniana flour pancakes, also.
The idea is, when you have spiritually loving people together, life can be great. Even work can be fun! Have you noticed how working alone is dreary, but together, laughing and talking, makes it go by and you don't even feel the work? There is so much I can do, but I'm too depressed but I know if one friend was here to help me, I know it would be done!
On holidays, like Christmas, we go all out. I will allow meat a few days a year - which is about what I eat. Only Thanksgiving, Easter, Christmas and some other holidays. Homemade desserts will be a special treat!
What else do I imagine? I imagine parades. We will get permits and have yearly parades, where we display what our Church is about on floats. We will dress up as saints of both yoga and Christianity, maybe dance around Krishna. Kali will be a wonder, with a belt of arms hanging from her hips, a necklace of skulls, and in her four arms symbols of creation and destruction. We will have some demons we have to kill, the biggest guys painted black and red, with tails, and we'll stomp them and stab them with plastic knives and swords. This should get their attention driving through the main thoroughfares of Los Angeles, and get us good publicity! We will have our followers handing out literature to everyone on the street, if this is permitted, and speak to the press.
BEWARE OF PROSPERITY PREACHING!
I am writing this because of Dave, who sent me a tape from Unity and asked me to pray for him. One of the things he wanted from God was more "prosperity."
After speaking with him, listening to the tape, and sleeping on it, God gave me some dreams that carried insights. Beware of Prosperity Preaching!
It starts out innocently enough, as with the teachings of it's greatest minister, Catherine Ponder. But it ends up like this:
Unless you have material prosperity, your faith isn't good enough, you have not attained what God has to offer, and you should be ASHAMED OF YOURSELF. I spoke of this before, as in the Trinity "Jet Plane Faith" trip. In the end, this kind of thinking makes the rich think they are blessed and the poor, that they have been passed over, that they have failed. The middle class think they just ain't got it - faith - to the degree the rich folks have. But all of this flies in the face of the teachings of Jesus, Buddah, and all the great saints of all religions. What starts out innocent ends up faulty and sinful.
Catherine Ponder errs not in what she says, but in what she leaves out. She leaves out the goodness of suffering! All of prosperity, and much of Protestant theology, leaves this out. It is as if this earth was a Heaven and we have to receive all abundance, all fulfillment, on earth! Nothing could be farther from the truth! Earth is not a place of fulfillment, at best, partial satisfaction, but earth is a place of expiation, learning, karma, and PAYING FOR SINS so that we can have FULFILLMENT IN ETERNITY. How are we to pay for our sins when we have all the goodies God has to offer here and now? If we have the health, the wealth, the relationships, the material goods, then how are we not like the hedonists and materialists, who live only for the world, flesh and devil?
No, my friend, Prosperity Preaching is all mixed up, it is far from the truth, it is not perfection. Those who follow it are destined to be mixed up and sorrowful, for they will not be One in Union with God.
Now if one were to follow Catherine Ponder exactly as she wrote it, with saintly perfection, there is a possibility one might not err - too much. There is a margin here where you can go either right or left, wrong or right. If you stay right, you will understand the first law of Prosperity is Union with God, Union of your will, your soul, your mind, your Heart, with God - and that is the only REAL prosperity. If you have that, you have it all. The rest is not important to that. But if you go left, it becomes,
"God is the universal supply, the infinite storehouse. All I have to do is have faith, and demand that I have all the goods of life. I must have good relationships, good health, abundance, material resources and all that life, and God has to offer. The only things keeping me from this are my faith, my belief, my own consciousness. Set my consciousness right and all the goodness of life and God will start pouring into me."
This is not right at all, I assure you. You don't know what is good for you. You don't know what lessons you will learn from relationships that hurt! You don't know how much merit will come to you from poverty! You don't know how many sins and karma you will pay for by illness! Your earthly want and need, your suffering, your emptiness, is all merit gained for yourself and the salvation of others. Suffering burns up karma, burns up sin. Suffering purifies, cleanses your soul so you get brighter and become a more evolved saint. Now if you push away suffering and demand "Heaven" on earth in terms of not Nirvana, but physical goods on earth, you have gone left, and that is not God, it is like the path to Hell. After all, the thing that separates saints from regular mortals is saints are willing to suffer, and do whatever it takes to have perfect union to the Will of God. Those who are not willing to suffer are not willing to pay the price for union with God. Some of these are the lukewarm, and some are bent for Hell.
I cannot stress this enough: Prosperity is not the way of perfection. Perfection is union with the will of God, no matter what that brings, including hardships and suffering. Hardships and suffering is the path all saints and yogis take. Renunciation, not prosperity, is the key. Now you might ask,
"But doesn't God ever want us to have prosperity and happiness on earth?"
Yes, it does happen that we have happiness on earth, but usually after long and hard sufferings. God gives us rewards, and God gives us what we need. But to dwell on physical/material prosperity will not bring us closer to God, it will take us closer to Hell. We are not supposed to have cravings, desires that go too far. You can have some legitimate desires, but they must be kept under control, always being relinquished if God wants otherwise.
The other problem with the Prosperity Preaching is that it makes the prosperous self righteous and look down at the poor. They look at the poor as if there is something wrong with them, when in fact, spiritually, there may be nothing wrong at all. They may have faults that have nothing to do with spirituality, like the lack of intelligence, social skills, talents and the like, but they might have perfectly good hearts. On another note, the poor are not poor because they sinned, necessarily. It does sometimes happen that sin leads to poverty, but usually, it does not. In fact, some of the biggest sinners are the wealthiest. They got there by the age-old adage of "might makes right." They got there by sins of their ancestors, who stole and exploited. A lot of this is done legally these days, by professions such as insurance, medical and other big rip-off institutions. People are getting rich - but does that mean they are right with God? Wealthiness, if used as a measure of being close to God, is one of the most foolish axioms I have ever heard of. It usually is the other way around, with the saints saying more rich people are falling into Hell than poor.
In yoga, they call those who pray for THINGS - whatever those things are - HERON MEDITATORS. The heron stands silently and meditates on fish, and he catches them. But does that mean he is a great yogi? You may meditate on God and give God the list of things you want, but then you have reduced God to Santa Claus, the Wish-Fulfilling Tree, the Wish-Fulfilling Cow and the like. God is there for what we can get out of Her/Him. Is this the way you want to be loved? Do you want to be loved for what you have and what you can give, or do you want to be loved, just for yourself? Loving God for THINGS is false love, it is not real at all.
Loving God in PERFECTION, the way the saints love God, is to love God for HERSELF. What do you get from that? You get into the consciousness of God, the reality of God. God lives in you in reality, in truth, in vision, in righteousness and love. To have more of God is to have more Truth, Love, Vision, Understanding and the like. This is loving God for God, not things. Fill your pockets with money, your house with things, and drive the best car. Is that perfection? Nonsense!
It all boils down to CHARITY. Have charity for God, for yourself and for others. This is a tall order and this is what we strive for. This also takes discernment, because we cannot open ourselves to the demonics and the users. We have to be careful. Nobody said life was easy. Maybe it is a mine field, but yet, we have to walk through it.
The real prosperity, not against God, is that God can and will give us what we need, when we need it. Let God decide when and how much. Meanwhile, the greatest task of perfection is to be satisfied with what we have, to try and help others when we can, and love God daily no matter how hard life is. I could never be a righteous minister preaching the Protestant Prosperity teachings. It is so against charity, so against the poor, it goes against everything of God and the saints. I do believe that God will give us all that we need to help others and for our great eternal life.
Words that come to mind are "Go, sell all you have, give to the poor and follow me."
Jesus said this to the rich young man who followed every rule except that one - which means giving up all for God. It reminds me of the Orthodox Jew who loves Kosher food, so he eats it. He keeps the Sabbath and all the rules, but one. That is the rule of sex. That is the one rule he will not keep. He has demons of lust, and he wants them. This reminds me of the Prosperity people. They will give God everything they have but their wealth. They will praise God and pray, giving God their time, attention and "love." But they want God to pay them, here and now, for what they give to God! What rubbish!
I think of Holy Buddhism, how great it is, and how against this type of "prosperity." Buddhism says that suffering is caused by desires. Specifically, these are not desires for God, but other things. "Prosperity" falls into those "other things" as taught by Unity and Protestants. Buddhism teaches that Nirvana, or Heaven on Earth, is attained by detachment, not attachment, to things. By relinquishing our desires of the earth, for material situations, we become free. Prosperity teaches the other way around. It teaches a road to Hell. It says that we must have faith for more and more. I know they will deny this, but listen to them carefully. In the tape sent me by David, the Unity minister even used the word "demand" a few times. We have the right to demand all we want!
Does the clay tell the potter what kind of a pot it has to be? What color, what shape and size? What right has the pot to demand anything? We are mere finite creatures of an Infinite God who knows all, sees all, can do all things. Prosperity and Unity says that as we "align" ourselves to God, we receive all that the Infinite has to give. But the Infinite isn't handing out welfare checks, the Infinite gives Spiritual Graces and Gifts, so we can be happy with God now and in eternity. These gifts are virtues, like the evangelical virtues - poverty, chastity and obedience; like patience, temperance, modesty, fear of the Lord, kindness, fortitude, equanimity, long-suffering, knowledge and understanding, discernment, counsel and many other things. Then there is Faith, Hope and Charity. Then there are mystical gifts like visions of the mind, the inner senses and the outer senses. There are the movements of the Heart. There are great gifts of self sacrifice and martyrdom. Where does wealth come in? To desire wealth becomes a craving, like an addiction, a sickness. All the world has it. Is the world happy? Is the world going to Heaven or Hell? The world is the broad highway to Hell, and the world wants THINGS. It is by wanting THINGS of the world, and the flesh, that we are tricked into turning our backs on God and ending up in Hell. Remember the rich man who made a feast and sent his servants to go get his "friends."
All his "friends" were busy with the things of the world (not with sin) and begged off. The rich man was angry and had the sort of "derelicts" of the world called in for the supper. This is an analogy of the rich and busy, against the poor and obscure. The poor, in this story, appreciated the Kingdom of God. The rich and busy did not.
Unity/Prosperity will be you, craving material things and keeping busy with appearances and earthly commitments.
In my early theological days I studied Mary Baker Eddy's Christian Science, so I know that Unity is an offshoot of it. (So is Science of Mind.) It was around 1971 that I began studying "Science and Health, with Key to the Scriptures." After that I subscribed to the literature, read it for years, and also read the two-volume life of Mary Baker Eddy. Mary Baker Eddy had a new slant on Christianity, and it was metaphysical and spiritual. She was against "materia medica" and the evidence of the senses and the physical. But somewhere within all this was that germ of prosperity, and aligning ourselves to the Infinite Mind, and receiving everything out of it.
A few comments about Mary Baker Eddy's life and work. First, she was so poor that she had to give her son to foster parents. Her dentist husband ran away with another woman and never helped her or their child. She was desperate. For years she barely survived, but during that time she did a lot of thought and study. One thing she studied was a metaphysical manuscript by a doctor named Quimby called "Science and Health." She had had a serious fall on the ice and was intent on getting healed, and this fine man did spiritual healing and loaned her his manuscript. I have the book "The Quimby Manuscripts." In it are chapters like "Christ or Science," "The World of the Senses," "Disease and Healing," and so on. Sounds like "Christian Science" to me, but Mary Baker Eddy forever claimed it was not the same thing. Nor did she admit being inspired by this man or his written beliefs.
Mary Baker Eddy worked nine years on putting together her religion, and when she finally had it in book form, charged students almost a thousand dollars each to learn to "heal." That was a phenomenal sum in those days. Mary Baker Eddy went from poverty to wealth in a short time, through the success of her religion.
did her religion prosper for a time? It was because people went to her,
paid their money, and put out a shingle saying "Doctor." In
other words, they were all doctors of healing, and when the medical was
an inexact science, faith was as good as anything else. Many people who
went to these "doctors" actually were healed - because faith
does heal. There were a lot of theories of why healing works, but most
people - neither the healers nor the healed - really got into it deeply.
will get to how this went astray in a moment. But first, what happened
to Christian Science? Of itself, there was a decline. Why? Because medical
science became exact and could help many more people. People did not have
to go to "faith healers" when their doctor knew what was wrong
with them and could give them a prescription. And so, people took what
they wanted from the religion and turned it into "Science of Mind"
Where the theories went astray is that instead of affirming health and other positive things - which was the main thrust - they began affirming wealth. People wanted wealth. They had more of health than ever, from medical science. But wealth wasn't so easy. You couldn't go to a CPA and get it. So they began to use faith for prosperity/aka money. The best of the teachers did not emphasize money, but the ministers today do. It is despicable, because it does not bring people closer to God.
What is so damming is that it has some good elements, and people are fooled by the bit of good into believing the whole thing. People are confused - they are not saints. They are not on the highest level of evolution and the ministers they look to for guidance are leading them off the straight and narrow road.
to recap the whole thing: Believe in God, that all things will work out
for the good. Do not believe in THINGS or that THINGS will make you happy.
THINGS bring you to a dead-end road. Trust in God, that God will take
care of you through thick or thin, rich or poor, and that God loves you
no matter where you are. Being poor, in most cases, or being rich, was
not caused by the individual. It is ancestors, family, situations out
of our control that make us rich or poor. It is nothing to be proud of
to be rich nor ashamed of to be poor. Nor is it shameful to be suffering,
to be sick, to be needy. All the saints suffered, most saints were poor,
and all those who reach God go through terrible hardships. There is no
Heaven on Earth, but it is in Eternity. The joy we have on earth is fleeting
and temporary. Don't try to attain physical Nirvana, as it never happens.
Spiritual Nirvana does happen, but you must give up all craving for things
and people to get there. And even so, spiritual Nirvana is not constant.
There are "dark nights of the soul" for all saints.
Rasa of the Mystical Heart has asked me to write this letter recommending her to you, as your guru. She has been my guru for over twenty years.
Many years ago, in 1978, I saw a picture of Rasa in a newspaper, where she was preaching. Her message was extremely important and timely. This is how first saw her. Let me tell you a little about myself.
I am from India, and one of my grandfathers was English, so I am part English and part Indian.
I was only sixteen when I first saw Rasa's picture and a strange feeling entered my soul. I was born a psychic, with the unbroken veil or bag of waters surrounding me, when I was born. My psychic senses are very acute at times, and when I saw the picture of Rasa in an American newspaper, preaching in front of the White House, God said to me,
"This woman is great. She has just given the sermon that will prevent war between Russia and the United States, (which would have dire consequences for the world.) You will see her again. She is your guru."
I searched for her for years on the out-of-town magazine rack, and one day I found another article. But it gave no address. I searched again and again, and finally found her address, and wrote her. She answered me, and we began a correspondence. In those days she was working under a different name.
During the years I have known her, we have gotten more and more close. She was not the woman as depicted in the newspapers and magazines, but totally different. I gathered that she was as if an "undercover agent" of God, or God hidden in a secret place, where no one would suspect God was really there, and she could get into the press where others could not, speaking God's messages. I saw great mystery here, and it enthralled me.
I asked Rasa for a picture of her I could use for meditation, and she gave me one. I began to sit in front of it and meditate, feeling strange at first, because Hindu gurus look so different. But then, things began to happen. I had many mystical experiences, dreams and revelations. I was getting closer to God. After ten years of meditation on her photograph, I achieved Nirvikalpa Samadhi or what is known as Nirvana in Buddhism. I saw a vision, after many preliminary visions over the years, of God and all of the Universe as one. I saw Brahman, Shiva and Shakti, Vishnu, and Atman, the God within me, first as separate. I also saw Rasa there with rose light streaming out of her heart and a golden halo, directing my way. After she directed me, the entire picture came together, and all the parts of God became one vision, and I also was a part of the vision, and I knew God and I were One.
I really wanted to meet Rasa, and when my parents decided to go to America, I did get to meet her in New York City. Since that time, I have been coming to meet her almost every year and spend some time with her for a few weeks.
Since I am a psychic she wanted me to share with you what I see for her future.
First, she is going to have incredible fame and fortune, because her life story is going to be made into a book and great movie. At that time, she will have more people approaching her than she can handle. She will need a group of devotees to stand between her and all those wanting to meet her. The reason there will be so many people is because the movie will be so great and famous, and second, her life story is so unique it is like no other that has ever been lived.
Rasa is looking to move to a cosmopolitan place, like Los Angeles, and she will use her money to build a spiritual center and do this kind of work. There is much to be done. The world is full of darkness, and she is an Avatar, sent by God, to save others.
I predict that her ashram and order will gain prominence throughout the world, and will never die out. It is just what the world needs at this time. When she leaves the earth, her legacy will continue. There will be many books, movies, and her religion will continue throughout the ages. The religion she teaches is a combination of what Jesus really taught, along with yoga and female empowerment. Her message is what God wants preached in the world today, as a remedy for many of its ills. She did not invent anything, but is simply the embodiment of God's will at this time.
For those of you who do not understand the importance of a guru it is this: The guru brings you to God, in a way that you cannot do yourself. The guru has powers you do not yet have, and these powers, of the Holy Spirit or Shakti, as Virtues and Gifts, are transmitted to you when you make yourself worthy. To find all the steps of becoming worthy you have to read the literature. You must have faith and love, and you must have some kind of contact with your guru, be it mental, spiritual, physical and all of that.
As for me, Rasa will always be my guru and I am planning to spend as much time with her as I can. When she opens up her ashram (monastery, center), I will spend months at a time there, and I hope to open an ashram for her here in India. With the help of God's grace, all is possible!
Jai Guru! Sri Sri Sri Guru! Jai Kali, Jai Shiva and Shakti! Jai Brahman, Vishnu and Jai Atman as the Blue Pearl and Blue Person! Jai Rasa, my Guru! She has brought me to God!
In view of the discussion of yesterday, and having prayed much over night, I've made a decision to open my door to devotees. We will have a pow wow in July this year, if anyone is interested. You will come here from wherever you are and spend the days for a week, overnighting in local motels. If this interests you, let me know. I will need your real name, phone number, and a little bit about your intentions with the idea that I need to know you are serious about God and want to look to me as your guru.
Decisions have to be made, and I have made mine. Now you have to make yours.
Now speaking once again about Ramakrishna, I am going to continue my gripes about him. I recall reading another thing that incensed me terribly, which was so discriminating against women. He had two people visit him, a woman and a man, at different times. The man was a terrible drunk and spent much time in brothels. He'd come to Ramakrishna, still drunk, mumbling about reformation and the like, and Ramakrishna was very tolerant of him and said he'd straighten out. But a lady came to visit him, whom the book says, "had led a sinful life." She touched Ramakrishna's feet in worship, and he recoiled in horror, like something filthy had touched him. Why the drunk brothel goer is alright, but the woman is repulsive?
Then the story of Rani Rasmani. She was from the "untouchable" caste, but was a millionaire. She built a series of temples for Mother Kali on the bank of the Ganges near Calcutta. She hired Ramakrishna as a priest, but he couldn't cut the mustard as he would go into trances in the middle of the ceremony. He was basically incapable of earning a living or operating on the normal level because he was falling into trances at odd times - whenever anything reminded him of God. He once saw an English boy with black riding boots, leaning up against a tree, and thinking he saw Lord Krishna, fell into a deep trance. Stuff like that.
Rani Rasmani gave Ramakrishna a place to live for life, and her son-in-law, Mathur Babu, supported him, (being totally devoted to him). Not only that, Ramakrishna's mother and wife also lived at the temple, free of charge, I'm assuming.
Was he grateful to Rani Rasmani? One day he saw her in the temple, making flower petals for the Kali statue, daydreaming. As a rebuke to her, for daydreaming, he walked right up to her and SLAPPED HER! Of course, being a woman in an evil Patriarchal society and obviously a great soul, Rani Rasmani took no revenge. She let Ramakrishna continue staying there, supporting him and treating him with respect. But why did he slap her? He wasn't going around slapping the men. Again, this is his disrespectful way of treating his benefactor, because she is a woman.
Then there was the wandering nun, or Bhairavi. It was she who decided Ramakrishna was an Avatar, as he had the five marks of one, she said. She called together a council of sages from all around India, and they in a meeting decided she was right and declared him an avatar. Yet, Ramakrishna took all these things for granted and did not seem to offer her any special respect. He treated her in an offhand manner. Yet, everyone just about, treated Ramakrishna like he was special. That is of course the nature of their society. Men are treated better, and spiritual men are treated well, as saints were in Medieval times in the West.
Enough bad stuff about Ramakrishna. I must add that he said many things that were really great and brought many people to God, and he was of God. He has been an inspiration to me, also.
Remember, devotees. Only one thing is necessary. This world and all its worries and pleasures is temporary. Get ready for eternal life. It is coming soon!
& HOW WILL
My mind is filled with thoughts of how I will get out of where I am at - which is a place of desolation and isolation - and how I will find my destiny. I am here to help humanity. I am here to touch people in darkness and bring them God's light. How am I going to do that? After having this site on the net for almost a year, I am convinced it is not enough. I believe that people need to TOUCH the guru (not necessarily physically but with physical presence) in order to be "made alive." When the guru is dead, you cannot touch her any more, but spiritually. You certainly can't touch Jesus or Mary or Krishna, but spiritually. But when they were alive they interacted with people. They had darshan and satsang (fellowship and discussions) and they walked, talked and ate together. There is something about physical closeness that seems to be necessary in building a Church, a fellowship, a society, a religion. Look at Ramakrishna, who today is represented by the Vedanta Society (Hollywood) and book publishing establishment. He was getting to middle age and he pined for "his boys," the guys he'd have for fellowship; his society. When finally the boys came, it wasn't long before he got throat cancer and died. But he did have enough time to get the right boys (who were all men, mostly fairly young) and inculcate into them his gospel. One was a high school principal who wrote all there is of the gospel of Ramakrishna, and I have all the books. (Of course, I cannot read them because soon after I got all these books, dozens of them, I got floaters and eyestrain that prevent any more small-print reading. I am typing all my articles in 48 bold, my most comfortable type size.) Therefore, before he died, Ramakrishna had the joy of knowing he had a bunch of people well-versed in all that he knew, filled with his shakti, and they were set off to change the world. And change the world they did. They certainly changed me! I was deep into Ramakrishna before I jumped over to Siddha Yoga and it's teachers Muktananda and Nityananda. Ramakrishna gave me more spiritual nourishment, yoga style, than had anyone before him. He was truly a Master.
What am I driving at? I need to do the same thing Ramakrishna did. I need to find people who believe in me, who will follow me, and whom I can fill with the shakti. I need candidates for swamis, writers, missionaries, lecturers, internet workers, etc. I need all these men and women who ARE REALLY INTO GOD AND WHO BELIEVE THEY CAN WORK WITH ME, RECEIVE FROM ME, AND CHANGE THE WORLD! Where are you, my boys and girls? And you could be any age, even in your 90's, and there's still time! God can do anything!
WHAT I AM GETTING
I am getting a lot of letters but they are not exactly swami candidates. What I am getting are fans with sex fantasies, men who want to be dominated with sex fantasies, and men who are somewhat spiritual but still rooted in flesh and material thoughts. The two I had the greatest hope in - Ihnot and Gold - are both struggling with sex. Ihnot has been helping tremendously in getting together ideas for the ashram by way of his searching the internet and sending me stuff. Gold started a Yahoo group for me but has not had time to advertise it. He has had time to work with his site called "Matrifascist," which I told him was not up to snuff, as it has no spiritual center to it. He keeps arguing that it has to be as it is for him, as he can't rise to a higher level. And Ihnot resists the idea of celibacy, which I am suggesting to him. There are a few other guys who are trying to help, whose identities I don't really know, as everyone is hiding behind fake names - but nothing big is coming out of them so far. They are sort of nameless, ambiguous entities who are in love with the Feminine Divine, but sort of floating in outer space with it, not having a place to light down upon.
I guess I just have to wait. Our Bl. Mother told me when I have a thousand a day on the Church site, I will have from that what I need. It is slow in coming, although I must say we went from small numbers a day for many months, then it jumped to two hundred a day a couple months ago and now it's pushing 300 a day on the Church site. It won't be long. Mostly it's in the links. We must get links!
WHAT WILL OUR MONASTERY BE LIKE?
Will I get a big house, and let the main devotees live in it for room and board? And allow visitors who are interested to visit at certain times? (Naturally, I have to have a group of devotees first.)
Should we buy a place where we can expand? A hotel, motel type place? A compound? A house that we can build around or pull trailers in when people come? A place that is expandable for a future ashram/monastery?
WHAT WILL THE RULES BE?
My greatest fear is all these lustful men running around wanting attention and all the things men hound women for. Constant flirting. (You see it everywhere...I go to a gym and the few pretty young girls get every hound dog in the place hanging on them...how can you concentrate on training?...the few such girls, you would think the whole world revolves around them...no wonder women hate them...these dirty guys don't talk to anyone else, just the ones they see as candidates for sex...this is lust...this is not spirituality...I fear, will the monastery be like that as we are co-ed, and men and some women, are filled with demons of lust and ego?)
I cannot have this in the ashram. But how will I enforce "no flirting?" Should I post rules that say men cannot address a woman, but only a woman can open a conversation with a male? Would that curb the lustful harassment? Do we have to enforce a celibacy rule? I know that is difficult, and I hate to say this, but I suspect that many of these so-called "celibate" monasteries are really dwelling places for men who like men. We cannot get into the heads and beds of people, but we must have spiritual order. There cannot be lust in an ashram/monastery. You cannot meditate and think of God when people around you are lusting for you, or when you yourself have sex demons. This has to be overcome. What do we do about it? Obviously, people have to start somewhere. They may be struggling against sex, on their way to getting over it, and we have to allow them into the ashram. I think the idea is restraint, respect and modesty.
If a person has thoughts of sex, they must keep it to themselves and in no way tell another person they are lusting for them. If you are lusting for someone, you do not share this feeling with them. You leave them alone, and you do not pretend to be talking about God when you are really wishing for sex. (I have had this done to me thousands of times by men. I'd be preaching and speaking of God and they'd talk to me about God but were really thinking of sex...anything to try and get into a woman's pants.)
There will have to be all kinds of rules. Even if we think of a hundred, as we go along, another two hundred will appear necessary. Then who enforces the rules? What do we do if someone insists on breaking them and keeps coming back? We will have to have some muscle behind our rules, like the bottom line. If a guy keeps harassing women for sex, he can't come back. I used to belong to nudist camps, and they had strict rules about sex! Men were absolutely not allowed to hound women!
What the Ramakrishna type monasteries do, and most Buddhist monasteries do, is they are not co-ed. I was pissed by the fact that the guys kept women devotees from coming and paying their respects when Ramakrishna was dying. The only woman who got through was an actress who dressed as a man. This fascist-type enforcement, as far as I can see, was a homosexual one. It appears that Ramakrishna himself was gay. A few things bring this to mind. He never had sex with his wife, and certainly was not in love with her. But he was madly in love with Vivekananda - to the point that he was having nervous breakdowns when Vivekananda tarried his visits.
Another time Ramakrishna said he was about to honor Lord Krishna (in his mind) by having sex with him the way a woman would - when God knocked him down and made him break his arm. No sex like that with God! No lustful sex!
He also raised flags with me by dressing as Radha, the number one Apostle of Krishna...in other words, Ramakrishna was a spiritual transvestite. OK, we made our point. And then - what about the devotees? According to the history they have left behind of their own holiness and exploits, they were all saints. But were some of these homosexual saints? Is the society today, like many other such societies, homosexual oriented? Certainly one of the monks I spoke to by phone, who filled my book order, seemed to be so. Nothing wrong with that, but let us call a spade a spade. Let us face facts and reality. So you have societies that are supposed to be celibate, but are they?
I am also extremely suspicious of orders, Hindu, Yoga and Buddhist, where monks are given young boys, whom they instruct in all things including CONTINENCE. Really? When I look at statistics, my shackles go up. Again, more homosexual shenanigans?
This is the reality we are faced with. We will not be a homosexual male or female society. We will be co-ed and we will have to control sex. This will not be a club for hedonists, swingers, and the like. No pleasure ground. We will seek spiritual bliss by curbing the human appetites and putting all of ourselves on God.
WHAT ARE WE TRYING TO DO?
We are trying to attain God, self-realization, and virtue. We are trying to reach the Valhalla in the heart, soul and mind. We are reaching for Nirvana, peace on earth, in our bodies, and this comes at a price. By working together and being with a leader who has already done that, it makes it easier for the aspirants. Being alone, going it alone, I can assure you, is the most difficult but also most beneficial way. Most people can't do it. I have, but I wouldn't wish it on a dog! But then, I am an Avatar, so I am told. St. Benedict said that finding God in solitude was a greater thing than finding God in a monastery, and I well understand what he meant. The "Father of Western Monasticism" went it alone in a cave. He knew isolation, loneliness and hunger. So have I. My "caves" have been in a city and in the country, but they have been lonely caves.
ask you to meditate on what I have said and get back to me with your thoughts.
A LOT OF GREEN TO YOU!
IS A VITAL
MESSAGE: THE CATHOLIC
CHURCH IS DEAD...
If you have been following my letters and sadhana, you know my mind is on change and on yoga. I want to make myself available to meeting the public and that includes public "worship" in the way of yoga, in the righteous manner of guru-worship where the guru is not seen as a mortal, but the embodiment of God. This is of course for the purpose of linking to the guru and then ascending to God by that method.
I've been thinking of ashrams/churches/temples/ costumes/garlands/arati/ swamis/devotees/where to move to and what kind of building/what to preach etc. etc. etc. Have been discussing it with Ihnot and my juices are flowing. Ihnot as I told you before is familiar with some yoga institutions and leaders and is filling me in on what they do. I am not copying anyone; but just knowing what is out there structurally helps me get my mind into focus. If this is what is out there, what are the dimensions of what I must do? I am not going to be like anyone else, but what will I and our Church be like?
This morning Nityananda/God spoke to me in a dream:
MARCH 17, 2005 DREAM
THE OAK TREE THAT IS MISSING
I am in a large Catholic Church, anticipating Mass, and it is filling up. (Will not give every detail because that would take an hour with my dreams!) In my pew I am separating a male & female who want to talk, and when I realize they are a couple, I excuse myself and let them move closer together and look for another seat. I meet a woman who is holding a plant in her hand as a gift for someone, and later, I meet that same woman outside with another plant with pink leaves she's going to take to someone in the hospital.
Here is the unusual thing: In the middle aisle of this large Church is an oak tree. You'd think it could not grow here inside a building, but it is because when I look at the ceiling, there's about a sixty- foot glass dome. It's about sixty feet long and twenty or thirty feet wide, and it is translucent with light green and blue clouds on the glass. This brings just enough light for this oak tree to grow, along with the other light coming into the church. The tree is about 15-20 feet tall, with thick branches outspread and it is in a holder I cannot see, but I imagine a very large wooden pot. What is most striking is the fruit of this tree, which is green grapes of various sizes. Some are as big as plums, some like grapes. I stare and stare at the tree, and then it is gone. Mentally I hear someone say they took it out, like it was in the way, right there in the middle of the aisle. The woman with the plant tells me I am weird to think I saw it there, because it is not there. I insist I saw it there moments ago but it is gone.
MEANING OF THE DREAM:
The oak tree is Jesus Christ, who is no longer in the Catholic Church. (It strikes me that the sound of "oak" is similar to "Aum" or "Om" in yoga which means God.) They took Him out! Why did they take Him out? He was in their way! What is the Catholic Church today? It is a dead institution, without Jesus, without God.
The Grapes: Grapes are a symbol of wine. Wine is a symbol of the Blood of Jesus, shed in the Passion, to pay for our sins and unite us in the Blessed Sacrament. This is union with Jesus. Why green, not purple? Because it's St. Paddy's day? Because it is about RIGHT NOW, NOT LONG AGO, WHICH WOULD BE THE COLOR OF WINE. It is right now they have taken the GREEN, LIVING CHRIST out of the church. Remember how Jesus warned the women, to cry for themselves and their children, because when they do this when the wood is GREEN, what will they do when it is dead? That means this living oak is green, it is alive, and yet, they remove the LIVING GOD, JESUS, from the church.
Here it shows that male and female have been separated. I see that, and I make way for them to come closer. This is what the Catholic Church has done. They are a power-hungry male trip, almost all homosexuals, and separating male and female is part of their game. They are now all form, all ritual and ceremony, with no Spirit! How could Jesus Christ, who is Love, Truth and Light, be here? Where would He be? He is not in the hearts and minds of the priests, or the magisterium, or the hierarchy. They have pushed Him out for form, power, resources. These are materialistic, perverted men, who are seeking flesh and matter, not God. This is what God is telling me, not all of which is explicit in the dream.
The fruit of the oak is also the Holy Spirit of Jesus Christ, God:
am the vine, you are the branches"
(I will interpret the rest of the dream later, as it will take time to figure out who this women is with the plant and other symbols I've not mentioned)
DO WE GO
I had two dreams before, where I saw Jesus outside of the Catholic Church, calling me to leave and follow Him. In one of these, He was with Mary at His side.
Lest you think that Jesus is in the Protestant Church, think again. Jesus endorsed my view of the Holy Trinity by worshipping a picture of Nature, where to us, the Second Person is Creation. Jesus was saying no to the exclusive worship of Him as the ONLY representation of God, and He was endorsing our view of God which is consistent with yoga.
What was Jesus teaching? Why is it NOT what the Protestants are teaching? Why is it yoga? First, the Protestants.
The Protestants carry the same cult of Jesus that the Catholic Church has, except they do not discriminate as much against women. Let us call the Christian Church the "Cult of Jesus" and see where that's good or bad.
What is good, is that Jesus was, indeed, teaching the worship of guru as God, and identification with the guru brings us to God. We join up with the guru, the guru links us to God and bingo, we are there. Jesus said,
"If you have seen me, you have seen the Father."
"I and the Father are One."
But was He saying He was the only embodiment of God? When He said He was "the Way, the Truth and the Life, No one comes to the Father but by me" did He mean HIS WAY WAS THE WAY OR HE PERSONALLY WAS THE ONLY WAY? We believe is HIS WAY that is the only way, and His Truth is the Truth, and His way is the way yoga teaches, not the way "Christianity" teaches.
Where Christians have gone wrong is that they have assigned to Jesus an equal, exclusive place with God, where no other person, no saint, no avatar, no incarnation, has any place equal to His. He is the one and only incarnation of God, embodiment of God, and He and God are One and no one else is One in the way that Jesus is one. Jesus created the world, Jesus created Mary so He could be born through Her, etc. Fundamentalists believe that you cannot be saved unless you confess the name of Jesus Christ, that He is the one and only Savior.
This is a fanatical misrepresentation of what Jesus taught. Jesus taught nothing more and nothing less than every great yogi who ever lived has taught. He probably went to India during his "missing years" from age twelve to thirty. There is evidence of Him in Tibet - see the Vedanta Press books on this. Jesus learned, and taught and healed in India before He returned to the Jews to teach yoga!
And this - the real message of Jesus - is what we are teaching in "Woman Thou Art God." It is Jesus' true message. It is yoga as taught by Jesus; Christian yoga or Jesus' yoga and all other yoga. Then what exactly is the message of yoga and Jesus?
I was never fully aware of what Jesus was teaching till I did a serious study of Siddha yoga. Any great yoga would do, but Siddha yoga, as taught by Muktananda, really brought it home to me. Read my pages on Muktananda, and then, Nityananda and you will understand.
Every word, accurately recorded, that Jesus said, blends perfectly with yoga. The guru identification, the Oneness, the God Within, the greatness of each individual, the blessedness of those who are poor and meek - all this was taught in yoga before Jesus. It was not taught in the Hebrew religion at all - yoga was way beyond that.
Besides that, Jesus went directly against the Hebrews in His view of women, walking with three women daily: His Holy Mother Mary, Mary Cleophas (his cousin) and Mary Magdalene, his chief Apostle and possibly wife. Women, starting with wealthy Mary Magdalene but including the wife of the chief steward of Herod, and hundreds of other women, were the main supporters of Jesus' mission. They bankrolled Jesus walking with the guys ministering, and took care of them in a series of houses along the entire route of Galilee. In this, Jesus went 100% against the way of the Hebrews and defied all their laws and customs. But he was totally in concert with yoga, which stresses that we are neither male nor female to God, and any female, including a prostitute, can find self-realization as easily as a man can. (Read the story of the prostitute, Kamepatra, who walked with the Siddha saints, who had become self realized while in that profession, and the story of the holy prostitute who went to Heaven as opposed to the hypocritical monk who went to Hell.) Jesus was not against women. He walked and talked with them daily, received their alms and their love, confided in Magdalene as His most intimate ally, and generally approved of women totally.
What the "Christian" religion, both Catholic and Protestant have done, is twisted Jesus' mission and words to suit their own purposes, which are self-aggrandizement and male supremacy. The Catholics have been especially heinous, now degraded to the lowest point a human can reach - that of preying on little children. All their evil has been leading up to this, falling lower and lower in their sin. First, sexism and hatred of women. Then homosexuality and breaking of their vows. Then materialism and serving the flesh. And finally, they have reached the zenith of their Hell - abusing children. The world accepted their shenanigans for a long time...
"Poor homos...let them play in the Catholic Church...who else would want the job? Let's look the other way, while these prancing, dancing eye-rolling sissies sport with one another. Who cares if they're popping each other in the can?..."
Ah, but there you have the source of their depravity. When one type of sin gets overlooked, they sink deeper and deeper into filth. First of all, pedophilia has been going on since the men took over. We are just becoming aware of how prevalent it is now, and perhaps it has gotten worse. The world has gotten worse, and the Catholic Church has gotten to the lowest it has ever been. What started out wrong has become desperately wrong.
The Protestants are not far behind. A study of hundreds of hours of "Trinity" has led me to believe they worship the Prosperity Principle.
"If Jesus hasn't given you a jet plane yet, your faith is lacking...if your fellow minister's jet plane is bigger than yours - his faith has been greater."
This is far afield of the yoga Jesus taught and the Beatitudes.
"Blessed are the poor, for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven"
Indeed, the Protestant Prosperity preachers have turned it into the opposite,
"Blessed are the rich, for their faith for wealth has been the greatest."
So there we move on to our theology. It is yoga, and it is Jesus. Jesus taught yoga, Jesus taught Beatitudes. Jesus taught God is within. Jesus taught self realization. Jesus taught equality of consciousness, that God loves all equally, even the tiniest animal. Jesus taught against discrimination and sexism. Jesus taught the greatness of women, and chose women as chief apostles.
Jesus did not teach sexism, Patriarchy, misogyny, male supremacy, might makes right and the man with the biggest jet plane wins....none of the above.
Let us teach what Jesus taught!
Let us teach yoga! We will begin with right teachings and we will also have the understanding that Jesus was not the only messenger of God!
We will explore all the different apparitions of God in the flesh, including
many saints and avatars. We will offer a fresh approach to Jesus and marry
the two religions, and show this is right and how it is right. Everything
Christians say in the cult of Jesus is good, except that it extends to
all the saints and avatars! Let us begin the work of salvation!
Some new ideas are afoot. It all started with S. Ihnot sending me "Peda Puja" photos of gurus, some female. Now we are way past that, studying how to build the beginnings of our Church/Ashram. I am going to move anyway, probably to the Los Angeles area. Why not get a place where my main devotees can visit for periods of time, (those who can help me build the institution) and where others can visit? A large room can temporarily serve as "Church" until we get a Temple built - or whatever it is we will do. Right now Ihnot is helping me with research, as he knows two or three female gurus, and a few males, and is familiar with how they run their organizations. He is explaining all that he knows to me, as I need templates not to copy but to start with as points of departure. How mine will be totally different is that we have both Christianity and Yoga combined. If we have a Church, we will celebrate two sets of holidays! I understand the Catholic/Christian point of view the best, but I also understand the yoga as well as any yoga saint. I do not yet know all the terms, but that's a matter of language, easily remedied by study. The grace part, inside me, is the most important part, and if anyone tells you that study is more important, it is not. The grace is the main thing, and study helps for one's own understanding and to transmit understanding to others. What I plan to do is continue studying how ashrams are made, and have costumes ready, and study their language.
In the spring I will have photos made that would be suitable for meditation/worship, and have these available to the public who want to accept me as their guru. It will begin spiritually, then center into physical presence. I now understand the world is in such darkness, and they need the human touch to galvanize their Faith, Hope and Love. Some are not yet strong enough to receive spiritually, unless they are in the physical presence of their guru. While I am living I suppose the logical thing to do is let them see me, meet me, talk with me. This will be mostly in a public setting, except for the closest devotees who help me build the system. When the guru is dead, then the time for spiritual-only communication has come. But when the guru is alive, I suppose is the time for physical meetings. Even so, with all my efforts, I would meet only a fraction of the people I could meet all around the world, who would benefit by such meetings. The thing I must emphasize now and always is that this is not a tool for domination and lustful "body worship" type meetings. These are not sessions of any kind. This is 100% spiritual. Now if anyone thinks otherwise, please do not bother me, but go to professional dominatrixes for their services. Let us understand once and for all that sex is not salvation. Sexual domination will not save the planet, nor are tantric practices spiritual. For those who are hung up on sex, you need to work on this and get as much of it out of your system as you can. Sex is an animal appetite, and although it makes the world go round, it does not create spiritual progress; it can be a serious block to it. Those who are addicted to sex can make little progress in the spiritual life. I have been celibate since 1978. Please look under my interviews of Jesus and Mary concerning sex. It is not evil, but if you want to reach the heights of spirituality, it will be like a boulder on your back that you carry. Any attachment to the flesh - whatever it may be, even food - will slow you down or even stop you completely. You cannot be addicted to anything to reach the heights of spirituality. That is the very essence of spirituality; to be free for God means free of earthly things, and open to God in Love. If you LOVE earthly things, the more you love them, the less you are free for God. I am not saying to be abnormal, and to turn into a strangeling. If you just do ordinary things, like daily prayer, spiritual reading and meditation, bit by bit you will be pulled out of the flesh and into your own spirituality.