As I speak with people daily I am shocked by their lack of understanding and communion with God. Those who go to Church do not always have a close walk with God, either. The person who wants to be anchored to Truth, Reality, and Love on a daily basis must spend a lot of time with God, and sooner or later, God will break through and speak to that person; to their mind, heart and senses. God speaks to me and this is what She says.
DAILY & PRIVATE THOUGHTS
OF RASA VON WERDER
RESPONSE TO OBJECTIONS VOICED ON THE NUDITY ILLUSTRATING WOMAN THOU ART GOD
What I am doing here is not a census bureau, where I, as an artist, am obligated to represent everyone that exists. Imagine the insanity of telling Peter Paul Rubens that he was amiss by representing only fat white women; that he should have included fat asian and fat Afro women, and he should have painted more penises. Or for Michaelangelo, he should have gone easy on the dicks and less muscles, thank you. An artist does what she wants to do! Whatever means something to the artist is what the artist does. An artist is not necessarily a social reformer or statistician. (I walked into a museum (not a gallery, a museum) in New York City where a whole room was devoted to the paintings of this guy who created only sargeant's stripes - hundreds of pics of sargeants stripes. I walked out scratching my head...) Now in terms of your patronizing remarks about how I could help rather than hurt humanity, just look at my site. Does anyone read?
You will find about a hundred articles on my site which help humanity in terms of activism, animal rights, anti-sexism, female empowerment, and my favorite, how to attain union with God. There are interviews of women who survived polygamy (whom I personally interviewed) and my personal interview of the woman who discovered the living amazons - to name a few. But you are latching onto my images and trashing me with them. OK. It's your ballgame and I'm playing. Nudity doesn't bother you - only the nudity and sex appeal on my site. Because they aren't old and fat, they have impossible porno bodies and they don't represent all of humanity. I would like to see the lineup for the photos of your grandmother naked, or the average out-of-shape person. What is the interest of seeing the average person? I have been to nudist camps and I know what they look like. Naked ugly. I personally do not like ugly art - which is in vogue right now; the same as I do not like ugly music. I like classical music and opera and ballet, and classical art. I was told by a dealer ugly art was in, because he saw it as a commercial venture. I don't care about commercial, it's my heart I want to inspire. There you see some of the best artists of all time on my site, Maxfield Parrish, Boticcelli, Vasquez, Rubens, Chagall, Lord Leighton and many others who represent beauty and meaning to me.
Along with that I have my own photos which you don't like. Why? Because you don't like women in the poses I present or the paraphernalia of domination - leather, cigars, whips, etc. But yet, will you accept, I am sure, without whining, the images of voluptuous goddesses from the Hindu tradition? Why do they have such round bodies, full breasts and ample rear ends, all curves and thighs? Why can't they make them look like the average woman? Skinny, flat chested or with saggy pancake breasts? They have impossible bodies and are doing impossible things - they are an ideal of womanhood rather than the average. We see the average every day. Someone forgot to tell these artists they are all wrong. Why put porno bodies on goddesses? And also, they are not representing the whites. They all look like Hindus. They forgot to tell them to make white goddesses and African goddesses. Oh, they are not helping humanity! And the paraphernalia! Shocking domination and violence! Belts with arms swinging from them, and maces and swords and spears and axes and all sorts of weapons of destruction! My living goddesses represent the same things. They are female power, matriarchy, and female ascendency in the family and the world. I am not your average feminist who believes that all women should have respectable professions and that nude modelling hurts women. I say women do what they have to do until matriarchy comes back. My art makes the statement I want to make. You do with your art what you want. It's like Gaughan yelling at Van Gogh: "I can't live like this...I can't work like this...Why are you putting so much paint on?...Who wants to go outside?...Are you crazy, the wind will knock everything down,..." and on and on. I am hurting women? I paid the models I used. And I did not turn any away because they weren't perfect. Every woman who answered my ads got to work, even if they had flaws. I worked around the flaws of a 51 year old woman and turned her into a dominanting force. It changed her life, as no one had seen her that way before. I thank you for the nice things you said but I don't believe any self- respecting artist - no true artist - would agree with any of what you said.
DIFFERENT MOUNTAINS OF ABUSE
I have to be very careful because I am getting on the nerves of people with too many things that I say, no matter how innocently I saw them. If you only knew that I am totally and absolutely one of you and and that what I understand as well as anything else that I understand is that what it feels like to be abused, abandoned, exploited, ridiculued, humiliated, denegrated, marginalized, slandered and misunderstood. I am not here only seeking devotees, I am trying to share understanding, love and friendship. I am a wounded a broken soul from all that people have done to me. It is these kinds of people, you and me, hurt people, that God loves the most and uses the most. Now, I know that whenever I saw anything that sounds authoritative or teaching it makes you mad because it reminds you of the sinner who abused you while supposedly bringing enlightenment.
I remember my father who abandoned me, my mother was a severe abuser and I begged my father to take me to live with him but he didn't love me enough. He knew what was going on but he just abandoned me. Today there's a little clique or cult of veneration concerning my father. One of his studnets, a lady, spends her own money publishing his books on poetry. These books are put into some kind of installation in a museum in Lithauania and she hands them out to hundreds of graduates at Lituanian schools. One of Dad's friends wrote an article about him and saint that my Dad was a saint. This lady who venerates him called me up for an interview on the latest book. All she wanted to hear was myself praising him but I told her the truth. The truth that a friend of mine made me see. My friend George heard my story about my Dad when I used to also idolize him and explained everything to George and George punched me in the head with reality: he said, "your Dad was not a good father at all." From then on I saw the truth and stoped idolizing my father and that set me free from a dellusion. But when I told this lady that my father abandoned me, that he didn't love me, this lady gave me this fictionalized version of his life which he had passed onto her about how dearly he loved me, that I was his most beloved the child he was most concerned about. And he also said to this lady that he stayed with Mom because of the kids for so many years. Every word was a lie. To this day I am still saddly plagued with pain. Over the two people who should have loved me who should have loved me who abused and abandoned me. I ran away from hom at 16 and my whole life up until this very day has been great hardship. The work that I am doing on my site is one of the happiest things I've ever done. In the last few months I have gained five new people who believe in me and are folowing me. But most people are not believing in me and following me. So it's not like I am a big joyful happy minister filled with respectability and praise. I am a target. I am a target for laughter, misunderstanding and verbal arrows.
We live in a cold and evil world. Most of us get the worst tortures wen we are young because in this world everyone is trying to consume to some degree someone else. Everyone is seeking to fill their own needs. I agree with many that the most heinous kind of abuse if when someone in authority who is a minister, a priest an enlightened person, abuses someone; it is the worst torture of all. Serious parental abuse is truly horrible also because when you are a child they represent God. Whenever I speak like I know something everyone gets mad at me. When I speak to you as one of you, the hurt, I seem to be accepted as a friend.
I remember this movie, Born On The Fourth Of July. There was this poor crippled man and everyone around him including his family gave him so much crap about patrioticism, platitudes and he didn't need this. Finally a guy who had been through the same horrors that he had sat doewn with him and just shared all thety had seen. That was the only thing that could relieve some of his suffering. I myself suffer from post-traumatic stress and wen it comes upon me the tiniest little thing makes me scream and I feel like I am in Hell. And no one understands. My webman said to me, "post" mean just that, before, not now. And I said to him, when someone pushes the buttons it is now. You repeat the experiances at present what went on before. I do not know all the answers. I only know that in building this church on the internet, it has given me hope and has helped me to forget the past. I don't want to be in Hell. I want to forget my family, the abusers, the rapes, the slander and all of people's evil and just receive God's love and share it with those who want it from me.
POWER OF CELIBACY
IT WAS MANY YEARS AGO THAT I TOOK THE VOW, MAY 27, 1978. I WILL CUT TO THE CHASE AND EXPLAIN THE POWER THAT CELIBACY HAS BROUGHT ME, THE EVIL IT HAS PREVENTED AND THE GOOD IT HAS PRODUCED. I FEEL SORRY FOR THOSE WHO KNOCK IT, BECAUSE THEY HAVE NOT THE GUTS TO EVEN TRY. THEY ARE SO HUNG UP ON SEX AND FEEL THEIR WHOLE LIFE AND IDENTITY DEPEND ON THEIR ABILITY TO PUT OUT AND PERFORM. I'M SORRY FOR YOU, BUT IF SEX IS THE WAY YOU DISPLAY YOUR POWER, YOU DON'T HAVE MUCH OF IT. MY DOGS AND CATS, CHICKENS AND DUCKS DO A LOT OF SEX, BUT THEY DO NOT HAVE A GREAT DEAL OF SPIRITUAL POWER.
THOSE WHO KNOCK CELIBACY AND CLAIM THERE IS NO USE FOR IT ARE THE ONES WHO DON'T HAVE THE POWER TO GIVE IT UP. THEY ARE ADDICTED TO THE PLEASURE OF SEX. MAKING UP EXCUSES FOR HOW IMPORTANT SEX IS, INCLUDING ITS 'SPIRITUALITY,' ARE A MASK OR COVER UP FOR PURE AND SIMPLE ADDICTION. THE WORLD WILL NOT COLLAPSE IF YOU BECOME CELIBATE, AND A FEW CELIBATES WILL NOT MAKE THE HUMAN RACE STAND STILL. AFTER ALL, ARE NOT ABORTION CLINICS FILLED WITH DEAD BABIES? ARE PEOPLE NOT USING CONDOMS WHEN THEY BUMP AND GRIND? THERE ISN'T ANY DANGER OF THE HUMAN RACE BECOMING EXTINCT, JUST YET, BY YOU AND I CONTROLLING OUR URGES.
ONE OF THE PROBLEMS OF SEX IS THAT IT IS BEING USED AS A RESOURCE BY WOMEN TO HOOK MEN AND AND GET THEM TO DO WHAT THEY WANT. THAT IS A PROBLEM. THEY JUST WON'T PERFORM OR WORK FOR YOU UNLESS THERE IS SOME SORT OF BAIT OR REWARD IN IT FOR THEM. AND GOD KNOWS, IN A PATRIARCHAL SOCIETY, WOMEN NEED HELP, BECAUSE MEN HAVE REDUCED THEM TO SLAVE STATUS. THAT IS CHANGING, BUT SEX IS STILL A TOP COMMODITY. LUCKY IS THE WOMAN WHO CAN AFFORD TO BECOME CELIBATE! DON'T YOU THINK THE OLD-TIME CONVENTS WERE MORE FOR THE PURPOSE OF GETTING AWAY FROM MEN THAN GETTING CLOSER TO GOD? WOMEN HAD NO PLACE TO GO AND NO WAY TO SURVIVE LEST THEY GAVE THEIR BODIES TO MEN. CONVENTS WERE SAFE HAVEN. TODAY IT'S EASIER, BUT WE'RE NOT OUT OF THE WOODS YET.
FOR MEN THE ISSUE IS A POWER PLAY. THEY NEED US TO NEED THEM. IF WE DON'T, WE WON'T. SEX ACTIVITIES WOULD BE SOMEWHAT LESSENED IF WOMEN COULD ALL SURVIVE ON THEIR OWN RESOURCES. THERE WOULD ALSO BE A LOT LESS BATTERING OF WOMEN AND SEXUAL ABUSE OF CHILDREN, IF WOMEN COULD THROW TO THE CURB THE BAD GUYS.
NOW TO THE SPIRITUAL SIDE OF CELIBACY. WHY DO SO MANY SAINTS PRACTICE IT THROUGH THE AGES? IF YOU LOOK AT THE ROSTER OF SAINTS, ESPECIALLY WOMEN SAINTS, MOST OF THEM WERE CELIBATES. WHAT IS THE POINT OF CELIBACY IN THE SPIRITUAL LIFE? WHY DOES GIVING UP SEX MAKE A PERSON BETTER FIT FOR GOD? AT THIS POINT, I WILL CHANNEL ONE OF MY FOREMOST GURUS AND THE MOTHER OF MY SOUL AND MY BODY, THE BLESSED VIRGIN MARY. IT IS SHE WHO HELPED ME ON THIS ROUTE, APPEARED TO ME, AND GAVE ME THE NECESSARY GIFTS TO PRACTICE IT. I ASK HOLY MARY:
"MOTHER, WILL YOU ANSWER FOR ME? WHAT IS THE GOOD OF CELIBACY?"
HOLY MARY: "THE GOOD OF CELIBACY, (IF RIGHTLY PRACTICED FOR THE SAKE OF THE KINGDOM OF GOD,) MAKES A PERSON MORE FREE FROM ALL ATTACHMENTS. SEX BONDS PEOPLE TOGETHER IN THE FLESH, AND THE TWO BECOME ONE. THEN YOU ARE YOKED, AND WHEREVER HE GOES YOU GO, AND WHEREVER SHE GOES, YOU GO. IF HE IS NOT HEADED FOR THE HEIGHTS OF HEAVEN AND YOU ARE, HE HOLD YOU DOWN, AND VICE VERSA. YOU MUST ATTEND TO HIM, LOVE HIM, TAKE CARE OF HIM, AND HE CAN BE LIKE A NOOSE AROUND YOUR NECK OR A CROSS UPON YOUR BACK. YOU SIMPLY ARE NOT FREE. SINCE I GAVE YOU CELIBACY, ALTHOUGH YOU, MY DAUGHTER, WERE FRIENDS WITH MEN, YOU WERE NEVER IN BONDAGE TO ANY OF THEM BECAUSE YOU WERE NOT LINKED IN SEX. THEY KNEW THEY COULD NOT POSSESS, CONTROL OR IN ANY WAY DOMINATE YOU."
RASA: "WHY IS THAT IMPORTANT, HOLY MOTHER? HOW DOES A MAN POSSESSING, CONTROLLING OR DOMINATING ME INHIBIT OR CURTAIL MY RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD?"
HOLY MARY: "IT IS A MATTER OF TIME AND ENERGY AND FOCUS. THEY TAKE AWAY FROM YOU THE RESOURCES OF YOUR MIND, YOUR PRECIOUS BODY, YOUR AFFECTIONS, ALL OF WHICH COULD PROBABLY BE BETTER USED. THEY SQUANDER THESE QUALITIES A WOMAN HAS FOR THEIR SELFISH PURPOSES, THEIR EGO AND THEIR BODILY NEEDS. YOU, FOR ONE, HAD BETTER THINGS TO DO."
RASA: "HOLY MOTHER, WHAT ELSE HAS CELIBACY DONE FOR ME BESIDES KEEP ME FREE FROM SUCH SQUANDERING OF MY TIME, STRENGTH AND FOCUS?"
HOLY MARY: "THERE ARE MANY DANGERS FROM SATAN IN REGARDS TO MEN. SOME OF THEM ARE VIOLENT. DATING MEN IS A PRECARIOUS SITUATION, AS WOMEN ARE VULNERABLE TO THEIR VIOLENT OUTBURSTS AND INTIMIDATIONS. UNTIL SHE KNOWS A MAN EXTREMELY WELL, A WOMAN IS NEVER SAFE. YOU LEFT THE DATING SCENE AND IN MEETING NEW MEN YOU SCREENED THEM VERY WELL. BUT THAT WAS PARTIALLY BECAUSE YOU KNEW THEM AND HAD BEEN THROUGH MANY TRIALS. THINK OF THE NEW WOMEN LEARNING THE HARD WAY. PRAY THAT THEIR GUARDIAN ANGELS PROTECT THEM."
RASA: "THE NEXT ISSUE IS ONE'S OWN BODY AND MIND. HAS DOES FREEDOM FROM SEX DESIRE MAKE A PERSON BETTER FIT FOR THE KINGDOM OF GOD?"
HOLY MARY: "IT MAKES AN INCREDIBLE DIFFERENCE. THE MIND IS PULLED DOWN BY THE SEX DRIVE AND OTHER AFFECTIONS OF THE FLESH. WHATEVER YOU CRAVE AND GOD FORBID, ARE ADDICTED TO, MAKES ALL YOUR ENERGY TRAVEL DOWNWARD AND INTO A PLACE WHERE IT IS WASTED. IT DOES NOT TRAVEL TO THE PLACE OF THE VISION OF GOD. YOU SACRIFICED YOUR SEXUALITY SO YOU COULD SEE GOD."
RASA: "WHY DO MEN HARRASS ME SO MUCH WHEN I SPEAK OF CELIBACY? WHY DO THEY HATE WOMEN BEING CELIBATE SO MUCH?"
HOLY MARY: "ISN'T IT OBVIOUS? THEY WANT WOMEN AVAILABLE FOR SEX, AS IF TOO MANY WOMEN WERE CELIBATE, THEY WOULD HAVE AN EVEN HARDER TIME GETTING IT. THEY RESENT THE FACT THAT YOU COULD JUST GIVE IT UP AND BE FREE OF THEM AND SAY NO TO THEM. THEY FEEL OFFENDED THAT YOU ARE FREE AND THEY CANNOT HAVE YOU. THEY WANT POWER AND CONTROL OVER WOMEN. EVEN IF THEY DO NOT LOVE YOU OR WANT TO BE WITH YOU AFTER SEX, THEY WANT YOU TO BE VULNERABLE TO THEM."
RASA: "HOLY MARY, YOU PAINT A STRONG PICTURE AGAINST THE EVILS OF MEN. I HAVE BEEN STRONGLY ATTACKED BY MY OTHER CHANNELING OF YOU ON SEX. WOMEN HURT ME AS MUCH AS THE MEN DID. OF COURSE, SOME MEN WERE GALLANT AND AGREED YOU WERE RIGHT. WHAT IS GOING ON?"
HOLY MARY: "IT'S THE SAME OLD STORY. WOMEN KNOW THEY HAVE TO GIVE IN TO MEN, AND SEEING YOU STAND UP TO THEM SO STRONGLY, BY REPRESENTING MY WORDS, THEY FEEL LIKE THE SLAVES WHO SAW ANOTHER SLAVE STAND UP TO ITS MASTER. THE MORE TIMID SOULS FELT FEAR AND DISSASOCIATED THEMSELVES FROM THE BOLD SLAVES, SO AS NOT TO REAP THE REPERCUSSIONS."
RASA: "MOTHER, IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE IMPORTANT I SHOULD ADD TO THIS WRITING?"
HOLY MARY: "TELL PEOPLE THAT IF THEY WANT TO BE CELIBATE, BOTH MALE AND FEMALE, GOD WILL HELP THEM. THEY MUST TRY AND GOD WILL HELP, AND MUCH EVIL WILL BE AVOIDED. THE REWARDS OF CELIBACY ARE GREAT, AS GREAT AS THE VISION OF GOD. IT IS WORTH GIVING UP SEX FOR THE VISION AND COMPANIONSHIP OF GOD, AS GOD BECOMES MORE INTIMATE WITH THE SACRIFICING SOUL."
I HAVE STUDIED DREAMS SINCE THE LATE SIXTIES AND HAVE LEARNED MUCH. FIRST, THOUGH, I DO ADMIT THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS AN ABSOLUTE EXPERT. TO BE AN EXPERT IS A RELATIVE TERM, BUT NO ONE CAN ABSOLUTELY DECIDE FOR YOU WHAT THE DREAM MEANS, BUT ONLY GIVE YOU THE BENEFIT OF WHAT THEY KNOW, AND YOU GO FROM THERE. THERE IS ONLY ONE WAY I MIGHT BE ABLE TO TELL SOMEONE WHAT THEIR DREAMS MEANS, ALMOST FOR SURE. THAT WOULD BE IF WE SAT DOWN TOGETHER AND WORKED OUT A NUMBER OF THINGS. ONE, WHAT IS HAPPENING IN YOUR LIFE RECENTLY AND WHAT ARE THE DYNAMICS OF YOUR CURRENT LIFE SITUATIONS. USUALLY DREAMS REFER TO THIS. SECOND, WHAT DOES EACH SYMBOL MEAN TO YOU NOT IN GENERAL, BUT SPECIFICALLY, RIGHT NOW, AND WHAT KIND OF A FEELING AND THOUGHT DO THESE THINGS EVOKE? SYMBOLS CHANGE, EVEN IN YOUR INDIVIDUAL VOCABULARY. I WOULD THEN USE MY GIFTS OF DISCERNMENT AND CHANNELING GOD, AS WELL AS TRYING TO SUMMON YOUR UNCONSCIOUS, UNTIL WE BOTH KNOW, FOR SURE, WHAT THE DREAM MEANS. THIS WOULD TAKE HOURS. ALL MY BIG DREAMS TAKE HOURS TO UNDERSTAND AND REQUIRE MULTIPLE MYSTICAL GIFTS...
I HAVE BEEN STUDYING YAHOO DREAM GROUPS AND I THINK IT IS WORTH EXPLAINING A TYPE OF DREAM THAT PEOPLE OCCASIONALLY HAVE, WHICH I CALL A 'BHAVA' DREAM. A BHAVA IS WHEN YOU ARE IN THE SKIN OF ANOTHER, AND GOD OR YOUR UNCONSCIOUS WANTS YOU TO KNOW HOW THAT PERSON THINKS OR FEELS... ANOTHER POINT THAT WAS BROUGHT TO ME RECENTLY IS WHEN YOU HAVE A DREAM IT MIGHT NOT BE IN REAL TIME. RECENTLY I HAD A DREAM WHERE I WAS PRESENT AT THE SUICIDE OF A MAN, WHICH WAS HORRENDOUS. I ASSUMED THAT I WAS THERE TO MINISTER, AND BRING GRACE TO A SOUL THAT NEEDED IT, SO HE WOULD NOT DIE WITHOUT GRACE. I FELT THE SURGE OF GOD'S ENERGY WITHIN ME FOR THAT PURPOSE. I TOLD MY FRIEND SOMEONE HAD JUST COMMITTED SUICIDE AND I HAD MINISTERED TO HIM AND WAS GOING TO CONTINUE DOING SO. THAT NIGHT I SAID MASSES FOR HIM. BECAUSE OF THE MASSES, HE APPEARED TO ME AND HE WAS A MAN LIVING, WHO HAD TRIED TO COMMIT SUICIDE AND FAILED, SOME YEARS AGO. I KNEW ABOUT HIS CASE. I ALSO KNEW I WAS HELPING THIS MAN AS HE DID APPEAR IN EARLIER DREAMS. (HE HAPPENS TO BE A FAMOUS PERSON) WHEN I DREAMED OF THE SUICIDE, I WAS ACTUALLY DREAMING OF SOMETHING THAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED, BUT DID NOT HAPPEN, BECAUSE GOD PREVENTED IT. I WAS THERE - BUT IT WAS NOT REAL TIME, IT WAS YEARS AGO. SO HERE, I AM NO EXPERT EVEN FOR MYSELF. SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO DREAM A FEW DREAMS TO UNDERSTAND THE CASE, AND PUT IT ALL TOGETHER. PUTTING A FEW DREAMS TOGETHER HERE IS THE STORY: I MET THIS MAN MANY YEARS AGO (LIKE 1968) AND LATER HE BECAME A BIG STAR, BUT HE WAS TORMENTED. HE WAS FAMOUS FOR HIS SUICIDE ATTEMPT. BECAUSE I KNEW HIM, GOD SAW IN ME A LINK OR A 'STATION ON EARTH' BY WHICH TO REACH THIS PERSON. HE WAS TORMENTED AND PERHAPS STILL IS. MY JOB IS TO MINISTER TO HIM AND HELP HIM, THROUGH MY PRAYERS AND SUFFERINGS. THIS IS THE KIND OF WORK I DO. I HELP SOULS IN PURGATORY, AS WELL AS SOULS ON EARTH WHO MIGHT GO TO HELL...
GOD SHOWS ME THE INTERIOR OF PERSONS. SOME OF THEM ARE HORRIFIC TO LOOK AT. I KNOW THEY WILL BE LOST. SO I HELP BY DOING PROXY BAPTISM. AFTER THE BAPTISM, GOD SHOWS ME IF IT TOOK OR NOT IN A DREAM. EXAMPLE: IN THE SPACE OF A MONTH I SAW THREE MEN, AND EACH ONE WAS HEADING FOR HELL, IF THEY DIED RIGHT THEN. I FIGURED IF GOD SHOWED ME THIS, IT WAS FOR A REASON. I DID PROXY BAPTISMS FOR ALL THREE. THAT NIGHT I HAVE A DREAM. TWO OF THE MEN LEFT THE BUILDING WE WERE IN THROUGH A MAZE OF ROOMS AND WENT OUT 'INTO THE LIGHT.' BUT ONE CHOSE NOT TO GO OUT AND INSTEAD WENT DOWN A STAIRCASE TO THE BASEMENT. SIMPLE TO UNDERSTAND, THAT ONE MAN CHOSE NOT TO RECEIVE THE GRACE AND STILL IS HEADING FOR HELL, BUT TWO WERE SAVED. MY DREAMS ARE A PIVOTAL PART OF MY MINISTRY. GOD SHOWS ME MY INTERIOR, AND THAT OF OTHERS, SO THAT I KNOW WHERE WE ARE AT SPIRITUALLY. IT IS CALLED 'THE GIFT OF READING OF HEARTS.' IN ORDER TO KNOW WHO NEEDS HELP I HAVE TO KNOW WHAT STATE THEY ARE IN, DON'T I? GOD SHOWS ME IN DREAMS. THEN, I MINISTER, AND GOD SHOWS ME THE RESULTS, THROUGH DREAMS. I HAVE OTHER GIFTS, LIKE CHANNELING, BUT WILL ONLY SPEAK OF DREAMS HERE. WHEN I PRAY, GOD SHOWS ME THE RESULTS OF MY PRAYERS AND DISCIPLINES. THAT WAY I KNOW IF I HAVE TO IMPROVE, OR IF I HAVE SUCCEEDED IN GETTING CLOSER TO GOD. DREAMS TEACH US WHAT TO DO AND NOT TO DO. THEY ALSO TEACH ME ABOUT OTHERS. WHO IS MY FRIEND? WHO IS MY ENEMY? WHO LOVES, WHO HATES? WHAT KIND OF DEMONS DO PEOPLE HAVE? I RECENTLY SAW IN TWO DREAMS, IN A ROW, THE DEMONS ONE LADY FRIEND OF MINE HAD. THEY WERE INSECURITY AND PARANOIA. I KNEW THEN HOW TO EXORCISE THE DEMONS, AND I DID. WHEN THE NEXT DAY I SPOKE TO HER SHE SOUNDED DIFFERENT AND TOLD ME SHE FELT LIGHT, FREE AND STRONGER, AND HAD HAD A FULL NIGHT'S PEACEFUL SLEEP AND LUCID DREAMS FOR THE FIRST TIME IN YEARS. I TOLD HER ABOUT THE DEMONS AND SHE SAID SHE KNEW SHE HAD NEEDED EXORCISM, BECAUSE HER AUNT HAD PUT A CURSE ON HER AS A CHILD. MY DREAMS SHOWED ME, WITHOUT HER EVER TELLING ME, EXACTLY WHAT WAS WRONG SO THAT I COULD DEAL WITH IT...ABOUT THE DREAM OF THE MEDIEVAL LADY RUNNING THROUGH THE WOODS. COULD THIS BE YOUR ONENESS WITH NATURE AND REALITY, WHICH IS TO ME, A MANIFESTATION OF GOD? WHEN I SAW GOD 'FACE TO FACE' IN 1982, I SAW GOD AS 'SUPERNATURAL' NATURE, A MYSTICAL COLORFUL WOODS, AND AN INFINITE OCEAN OF BLISS, GOLDEN, WITH A HORIZEN THAT NEVER STOPPED, BUT KEPT UNFOLDING AS I LOOKED. I KNEW I AND THAT OCEAN OF BLISS WERE ONE, AND THAT IT WAS INFINITE LOVE. THIS DREAM REMINDS OF THAT. TO BE NAKED BEFORE GOD, TO RUN FROM THE FLESH WHICH SEES EVERYTHING IN TERMS OF EARTHLY DESIRE (THE PARTY, THE FLIRTATIOUS MAN) AND SIMPLY TO MERGE WITH NATURE, THAT IS A LIBERATING CONCEPT. YOU DREAMED IT AS A CHILD. AND WE ARE ALL STILL CHILDREN, AND CANNOT BE HAPPY UNLESS THE CHILD WITHIN IS ALIVE OR ACTIVE. YET WE HAVE TO STIFLE THE CHILD WITHIN BECAUSE WE HAVE TO HAVE SO MUCH RESPONSIBILITY AND ALSO, YOU CANNOT TRUST THOSE AROUND YOU IF THEY ARE LACKING IN LOVE. EVEN YOUR OWN PARENTS CAN HURT YOU DESPERATELY, SO YOU CAN'T AFFORD TO BE A LITTLE CHILD IN THIS WORLD. YET TO BE HAPPY, WE MUST FEEL SECURE AND TOTALLY TRUSTING AND CHILDLIKE - AND THAT IS A DIFFICULT JOB IN THIS WORLD, WHICH DOES NOT HAVE TRUE LOVE...
I WILL LEAVE
YOU WITH THAT AND THANK YOU FOR YOUR